Happiness Part 2- Not every NO is personal.

Rejection is perhaps the most common reason for unhappiness. When someone gives NO, as an answer to any of our questions, we feel devastated and start critically analyzing the possible reasons for this. Since, No wasn't the answer we expected, our thoughts also form negative conclusions about the person, about his/her personality. After all the scrutiny about the "NO", we conclude the so called 'only possible reason as, "He/She doesn't like me." Period.

Especially if there has been a situation in the past, justifying their "dislike". 

In the school, scenario for instance, when a teacher chooses a someone to be the leader of a group, another possible candidate for the same might feel, he wasn't chosen because the teacher dislikes him.

The truth, however, is that, personal opinions rarely matter while we make intellectual decisions. Most importantly when  the decision is work, efficiency and time oriented. If a person refuses to come to a party you threw, it may not be because he/she dislikes you but because he/she genuinely didn't have time. 

When we as individuals, start to take everything personally, in our mind we make ourselves the center of the universe. In reality we are nothing but a tiny part of this universe of infinite possibilities. Therefore there is no reason to take anything too personally.

Now, what if someone does base their decisions on personal opinion about you. 

Once you have decided in your mind not to take anything too personally, then does it matter any more, what the other base there decisions on? 

Happiness Part 1- Appreciation and Reaction.

Hey! So this is my first post on this BLOG!!! Woop! Woop!

As the name suggests this is a blog about: LIFE (no surprises there!)

Well basically, I plan to discuss some of the issues we all go through in our daily life.

Also, some incidents I have faced.

Mostly give my point of view about different issues and topics.

Hope U enjoy!

If you have any questions, please be free to ask me in the comment section. :)

And please share if you find it interesting!
 :)

Happiness Part 1- Appreciation and Reaction.

First to define happiness we must understand what happiness is not. It is not excitement, anxiety, being surprised or having butterflies in your stomach. It is being in-peace, being stable and being in-control.

Now, almost 99% of what we do is for our, or someone else s' happiness (parents, friends, teachers etc.). The funny thing here is actually that, even after our tremendous efforts, we are NEVER 100% happy.

Many times what we do, doesn't get as much appreciation as we feel is required. So, we get upset and perhaps angry with the person who didn't appreciate us. Like the other day, I did a lot of household chores, by choice, and when my mother came back from home from work, she didn't say anything about. Not even a word.

Naturally, I got upset and kept "begging" for her appreciation. This is a very common situation in our lives, a mother “begging" for appreciation from her kids when she makes a meal for them, a friend "begging" for appreciation from another friend after buying him a gift, even to the extent of "begging" for appreciation when we do social service. 

Thinking about this habit of "begging", we understand that, it is for our happiness. This is clearly because we feel that appreciation from another person gives us happiness.

We feel, all these external factors, which are obviously not in our control (unless we have super-powers), are the factors that our happiness is dependent on. But as we know the only thing one can control is himself/herself. And that is the answer we have been searching for: Happiness comes from within.

All we need to do now is change our perspective. 

To change our perspective, first we need to be in-peace no matter what situation we have to face. Secondly, we shouldn't base our action ONLY for the sole purpose of another person’s reaction. Thirdly, be prepared for the worst outcome, (don't think negative, but just be cautious) because other people can be very unpredictable.

The objective of doing the household chores, for me, was only to gain my mother’s appreciation. However, if I would have done the chores for the sake of seeing the house clean, and taking it as a part of my duty as a member of the family, I wouldn't have realized that my mother didn't acknowledge it.

Now, even if I didn't change my thinking that way, if my mother didn't appreciate, I should try and understand that, her reaction is beyond my control. If she is a person who would otherwise appreciate, something is obviously not going well with her too. May be she faced a few problems during work or had to face heavy traffic.